How to Help Your Parents Downsize (and Remain in the Family)

When it comes time to move your parents out of their long-time home, always remember that it’s all about them, not you.

Your whole family should be on board and, most importantly, on the same page. This means everyone should be sending the same message. If one sibling is against the move, it could implode the entire process and your parents will stay put so as not to upset any of their kids.

Before you help your parents downsize, check out these tips for making the process go smoothly  (and can ward off a family feud to boot).

Get Started with a Downsizing and Move Plan

Oftentimes, families jump into the moving their parents without creating a plan first. Yes, planning takes some time, but figuring out how you’ll be going about things now will help reduce stress later on.

Communication is key in any downsizing process, especially when moving your parents. It’s essential to keep all parties informed of what’s happening and ask for their input when making decisions, like who’s giving what to whom.

If your family has multiple siblings, designate one person to take on the role of administrator. That way, your family is better coordinated and just one person is responsible for facilitating communication, assigning tasks, and setting up appointments for children to help their parents sort through things.

Create a Space and Furniture Plan

Once the decision has been made that a move is imminent, start working on a Space and Furniture plan as soon as possible. Once this plan takes shape, everything else will fall into place.

Take inventory of any furniture and have your parents decide on what they want to keep and what will be excess. When the excess list is complete, it then becomes available for family members to express their interest in taking it. Your parents may already have a good idea of where they want things to go, create a labeling system to mark and easily identify items for moving, family/friends, donation or disposal.

A space and furniture plan is a work in progress, but showing is much more effective than telling. Plus, helping your parents visualize what fits and what doesn’t will help making choices and decisions easier.

Make Time for Downsizing

Are you getting a large home downsized and ready to go? Think months in advance, not a weekend. It took your parents many years to fill their house, which means it will take more than a couple of warrior weekends to sort through, downsize and move everything. After all, these are their possessions and they need an appropriate amount of time to go through them.

Work slowly when downsizing, and steer away from taking too much to their new home. If it doesn’t fit the floor plan or there is limited storage available, then negotiations should begin. You may need to negotiate the smaller dresser for the large double dresser, or the loveseat and recliner rather than the full living room set.

Involve Your Parents in the Process

Don’t make decisions for your parents because you think you know better or what’s best. They have been in control of their house and its belongings for a long time, taking that control away will be met with great resistance. They have a very clear idea of what they want and why they want it.

Your goal is to get your parents moved with respect, kindness and the least amount of stress possible. This should be a positive process where they’re able to take the best and most necessary things with them, then say their goodbyes and make peace with leaving the rest behind. Remember, patience is paramount.

Take the NextStep

If tensions stall the project or you sense more resistance than what you can handle, it may be time to call in a Senior Move Manager. At NextStep Transitions, we’re trained and skilled in helping you navigate these troubled waters. And oftentimes, we can go places that children can’t when negotiating with their parents.

If you need help downsizing and moving your parents within the Seattle area, contact us today!